"Containment"

About five or six weeks ago, I get wind that someone in our neighborhood is complaining that our chickens are in their yard and they don't appreciate it.

OK.

So we took what we had on hand and built a chicken guantanimo.  Actually, in all honesty, I ranted and raved about the injustice, while my gem of a husband actually went outside and started constructing.  Like, the next day.  It isn't very pretty, but remedies the issue of our deserter chickens while we scour loading docks to gather wood pallets to build a more permanent, sturdy poultry prison. Problem solved.

Chicken guantanamo under construction.

Evidently not.

Because, today, I received an email, from the HOA board president wanting to talk about some "chicken containment" issues.

Seriously?

So, this is when I start musing, wondering why it is the neighbor that my chicken has SO terribly offended didn't call or email, well, ME?  You know? The chicken owner?  Mama hen. 

We have a community directory.  With a map.  I'm in it.  I send out regular emails to the neighborhood with my personal cell phone number at the bottom.  But I've received no call with wails of angst on the other end of how my chicken(s) has(ve) destroyed their personal property, chased their children, terrorized their pets, or anything of that sort.  My phone remains silent.  As does my email (in regards to the suspect chicken or any property damage these renegade chickens have caused). 

Our neighborhood swimming lake.

See, we live in a smallish subdivision in the country (7 miles or so from the nearest QT or Wally World).  About 100 lots, most of them developed, ranging in size from 1 to 14 acres in size and covering approximately 440 acres in total, with a good portion of common ground (parks, lakes, beach, etc.).  Our neighborhood is surrounded by nature conservation bliss almost in entirety.  It is a little piece of paradise. 

 

A family gathering in the back yard.

 

On any given day you can experience a myriad of wildlife here; raccoons, ducks, geese, deer, squirrels, chipmunks, fox, skunks, owls, hawks, snakes, not to mention the occassional chupacabra sighting. Not only that, but there are a multitude of homeowners with dogs.  Who often let their dogs out, unleashed, to roam their yard (and dodge in front of your car unexpectedly, yipping at your tires).  Some even walk their dogs along our narrow neighborhod streets. 

Geese.  In our side yard. April 16, 2015

 

So, dear neighbor, if my chicken(s) has(ve) caused some kind of personal injury to yourself, your loved ones, or your property, please don't hesitate to contact me and I will make it right. However, if my chickens just happened to get out of jail (did not pass GO or collect their $200) and wandered off into your yard in search of juicier bugs to nibble upon, leaving nothing in their dangerous wake but a possible dropping or two, get over yourself.  You live in the country.  With all kinds of wildlife making regular donations to your yard every, single, flipping day. My chicken is NOT your problem.

Geese in our front yard.

If there is property damage involved, we will make it right. There is no question there. I know all too well how infuriating it is to walk out and see your hosta bed chewed down to stubs. But unless you caught my feathered family members red-beaked and have photo evidence to prove it - you are up shit creek - because there is a plethora of wildlife out here that also enjoys eating your landscaping. To them, it is just food. To you, it is just an excuse to complain about something. Because if you really had a problem that needed a remedy or correcting, you could've put on your big girl panties and contacted me directly. Like a grown adult. Like a neighbor. Who I have to live by. For atleast another 22 months. Count on that.
                      

 Deer from our family room window. I don't remember the date.  A few years ago?

 

And to my deer, I mean dear, HOA president.  I envy you not. Your position on our HOA board is completely voluntary, almost entirely thankless, utterly underpaid and I'm so sorry the neighbor who contacted you didn't have the balls to contact me instead, but felt the need to bother you with this ridiculously stupid complaint.

 

And I really think that's all I have to discuss regarding "chicken containment" issues. Yep.